My long lost cousin is a very astute observer of trends, after all, he has letters after his name, LLC. He was telling me the other day that there is a glut of unmarried women and a shortage of bachelors. This is happening in epic proportions.
One reason this is happening, according to LLC, is that the modern, upward mobile female has become very choosy. They want the whole package: good looking, 30-40 years old, single professional, humorous, energetic, caring, who likes cats. No smokers or drinkers wanted.
My cousin said: “If my old lady had been that particular, she’d still be living with her parents and working at the supermarket, instead of enjoying cooking and cleaning for me, while I’m sitting here having a couple of beers with you.”
These females are so busy with their careers, they don’t notice that the good young men are being snatched up.
So now, even nerdy men are seen as a good catch. The women aren’t so choosy now. We overheard in the tavern, a young woman talking to a man and she asked him if he liked skiing.
“ No,” he said, “ I collect coins.”
She said: “ God, that’s an erotic pastime! Tell me more.”
So, will the future be filled with old biddies who have only their cats to talk to?
“ Well, cousin, what’s the solution to the problem?”
“The solution is time sharing polygamy!”
I thought for a minute.
“ You mean like time sharing “ condos” in exotic locations?”
“ Yes, like that, but this would be time sharing between a man and two or three women.”
I started laughing, but I soon stopped, maybe this was a viable solution.
“ The man would be married to each of them and spend every other week with each one. One man for every two or three women, problem solved.”
And I added: because they would have time apart, they would love each other even more.
“ Wonderful idea, LLC, did you ever get any feedback?”
“ Oh yes, I mentioned the idea to an upward mobile young female. And she said, I’m a complete JERK! “
“ Well, with that attitude, she’s better get used to growing old with her cats.” I said, putting my arm around my cousin.
“ There’s no appreciation for a good idea.”
Women are lucky to have us men to guide them, my wife is sure lucky to have me, she always asks what she should make for dinner and I tell her. The other day the plumming went out and I told her how to fix it. Where would they be without real men to show them the way? I have three women working for me, when I say working for me I mean they work, get payed and I show them how to spend the money. I think I’m just too good for there girls don’t you.
I like cousin Jims sense for humor. He is joking. Isn’t he?
Sort of a sexist slant to this one, Dave! Has your wife seen it? If so, are you bruised and battered?