“I think I have an unstable, inconsistent personality.”
“What do you mean? How unstable and inconsistent?
“Well, many times I have doubts about whether or not I’ve made the right decision or done the right thing. Also, at times I’m sociable and other times I’m hard work or I like to keep to myself. I have a weak ego. I feel different from everybody and sort of inferior”
“Why do you feel that way?”
“Because I feel off balance and awkward in my relationships with other people.”
“What do you think causes this?”
“I don’t know. All I do know is that I feel like a NON-PERSON!”
“Wow! That’s quite a powerful statement.”
“Yes, it is. I feel like I’m invisible, non-existent.”
“Lets see just what makes a PERSON. What are the ingredients?
Brain, mind, emotions, perceptions, dreams, fears and personality.
Now, what is the purpose, the function of a PERSON?
It’s to perpetuate the “HOW” of life.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s the behavior and mental processes of being alive, staying alive and perpetuating life.”
“So, we’ve got the ingredients and function of a PERSON, now what?”
“Now, we need a PARTS list. Body, mind personality, social skills, the ability to learn lessons from the environment, the ability to grow and develop and finally the ability to cope with change and stress.”
“Holy Cow! This is like assembling a flat-pack from Ikea!”
“Well, now you can see you ARE a person, you have the ingredients and the parts.
You should now feel you are a unique being capable of meeting people on an equal footing”
“Now, how can we strengthen a weak ego? Usually ego is equated with one’s sense of self-importance.”
“I don’t feel very important.”
“The trouble with ego built on self-importance is if you lose that importance you collapse like a house of cards.”
“What then?”
“You need self-worth, which is built day by day. You have goals and when you achieve them, you feel good about yourself. But even if your goals fall through, you still have a good feeling about yourself.”
“Hold on, I get it! I must choose to like myself no matter what. Self-worth is the answer.”
“Right on! Now lets have a little fun. Ever heard of Rorschach Ink Blot tests?”
“Vaguely.”
“I’m going to drop a large blob of ink on the middle of this piece of paper and then fold it in half. When you look at the resultant pattern tell me your immediate thoughts, feelings and desires. This will help you understand your personality.
I will now unfold the paper. What do you see?”
“It looks like two clowns facing each other. It’s scary! What does it mean?”
“Well, you said you had trouble socializing, so this tells you that you have trouble relating to people.”
“What! But you told me that problem was solved!”
“Internal Dialogue Terminated!!!”
Also published on Medium.
Dave, I have questions. When I have an internal dialogue with myself,
(1) Is it out loud?…I find people stare a lot.
(2) do I have to be alone…..I find that they are staring at me.
(3) do I have to answer?….I don’t want to be rude to myself.
(4) could I just write a letter?…isn’t that what your blog is?
(5) I find what I have to say is very boring……….so I try not to listen.
I’ll talk to you again, if I can think of anything to say.
Your self worth should be awesome. You have a fantastic ability
to write . You are someone people enjoy interacting with. I love
your blogs they make me think. A persons life is what ever we
want it to be. Sometimes we stray from what we do. But that is
what makes life enjoyable. Thanks for making my life interesting.
Keep smiling and pouring out those blogs.
To Linda,
Thanks for the kind words.