Purpose and meaning are NOT built in to human life. It’s NOT that life is meaningless, it’s that life has NO predetermined meaning,” said the man on the green padded stool.

Oh my, the wisdom that comes out from sitting on a green padded stool! It just so

happens that my favorite watering hole has twenty of them all in a line at the bar.

That man on the stool is my buddy, Tom, and I am Dave, sitting next to him. This afternoon we decided to see how much wisdom we could glean from sitting on green padded stools.

***

“Well Tom, your opening remark was pithy, I have to say. It could be very empowering and liberating if we could create our own meaning in our lives.”

“Oh boy Dave, I like those words: empowering and liberating. But the sad story is that many people believe the world would not notice if they never existed!”

“Hopefully, we can get some meaning and purpose from our struggles. It’s sort of a journey of becoming,” I said, after taking a sip of my beer, “Tell me Tom, what is one way to get meaning in your life?”

Tom pondered that for a moment, then said:

“How about helping others, what’s the word, ALTRUISM, that’s it.”

“Yes Tom, that’s a good way to get meaning in your life but some would say that you’re helping others to feel good yourself!”

“I believe it’s a two way street, your help benefits others and in doing so gives you a good feeling of purpose.”

“Another way to get meaning is serving society for the greater good. This is similar to altruism in that you’re relegating one’s own interests to second place for humanity’s betterment. Some politicians try to make life better for society by making government their life’s work.”

Tom’s face lit up as he said:

“Being happy in life and sustaining it would be meaningful.”

“Yes, I can see that happiness is an enduring state of pleasure and the happy person can probably endure the misfortunes that life throws at us better than those who aren’t happy.

But instead of the word happiness, I would use the word, contentment. We all have ups and downs and then happiness is interrupted. But if we are thankful for what we have we should be content.”

“How about SUCCESS in your endeavors being meaningful. Some people want a lot of recognition for their success, but just living your life pursuing your passions, no matter what recognition you get, should be seen as success and therefore meaningful.”

Boy, oh boy, the green padded stools were heating up now!

Tom started singing:

“What’s it all about, Dave.

Is it just for the moment we live?…”

“Hey Tom, that’s another meaningful purpose: “Carpe Diem”, seize the day. We are all trapped in the present, it’s the only life we have, so we should make the most of our present.”

“But Dave, does seize the day mean only to have as much pleasure as possible?”

“No Tom, seize the day means whatever we value in life, whether it be relationships, creativity, learning, food, sex, or travel, carpe diem is a call to appreciate these things while we can and not to put them off. In other words, to make every day COUNT.”

“Oh, I see Dave, the wisdom of carpe diem is that time is short, and this is the only life we have, so don’t squander it.”

***

“Eastern Philosophy, such as Buddhism, which calls for a “freeing of the mind”, is another way to find meaning. The purpose is to open your mind and let go of your ego. Attune yourself to the rhythms of nature. By freeing your mind the “I” becomes unimportant, and letting go is a meaningful exercise.”

“So Dave, this meditation might give us a feeling of freedom that almost can’t be expressed in words.”

“That’s right, my friend, it seems the older we get the more philosophizing we do, which is good, it makes us think.”

***

We both ordered another beer to celebrate the wonder of the green padded stools.

“Well Tom, we have uncovered ways to construct a purposeful and meaningful life. We’ve confronted the fragility and unpredictability of life and we’ve come up with ideas to do the best we can with it.”

Tom and I took long gulps of our beer and drained our glasses.

I took a deep breath and said:

“Someone once said: “My life has no purpose, no direction, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. What am I doing right?”

And then some philosopher said: “We should confront the absurdity of life with courage.”

With that, Tom and I walked out into the sunshine and went our separate ways.

The title of this blog is the formula to cope with Old Age.

The other day while sipping my pint of beer, on my green padded stool, and old chap climbed up on the stool next to me and said:

“Isn’t it great to get old? I can give my opinion on things and nobody will pay attention or I can give advice that nobody will follow. Invisibility, that’s Old Age.”

“You’re growing old in a good mood,” I said, smiling, “My name is Dave.”

“Mine,” answered the old fella, “ is NOT.”

I was taken aback for a few seconds.

“Well, my friend, if you can’t grow old gracefully, do it anyway you can. Cantankerous is good.”

The old man laughed.

“My name is Noah.”

We shook hands.

“I take it you’re not enjoying old age.”

“Oh, it’s great, each day that passes makes me feel two days older!”

“Hey Noah, you’re a comic and a poet, your feet show it, they’re Longfellows.”

We both laughed.

“Talking about feet, mine hurt even before I get out of bed.”

“That reminds me of an old adage: You know you’re getting old when almost everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work!”

After a few more minutes of banter, we exchanged ages.

It turned out we were both 80!

***

“Noah, do you find joking about old age helps you cope?”

“Yes, Dave, it does. A couple of years ago I went through an Aging Existential Crisis and seeing the comedy in life helped me out of it.”

“What do you mean by an aging existential crisis?” I said, very seriously.

“Well Dave, it is the moment when I started questioning the foundations of my life; whether my life had any meaning, purpose, or value. I started a program of introspection.”

“So, Noah, what did you start thinking about?”

Noah started laughing.

“When I started my introspection, someone asked me if I’m having as much fun as I used to. I replied, “Look, I’m 80 years old, nothing is as much fun as it used to be.”

“True,” I said, smiling.

“But seriously, I thought about the positives of old age: having spare time, wisdom, tranquility, maturing, and immersing myself in hobbies. Also, I thought about the negatives: loneliness, worries, illness, and death. I started to reminisce about the past and I would wonder how I will cope with the advancing years.”

We both ordered another beer.

“I enjoy living in the past. It’s cheaper!” I said, hoping to put a smile on Noah’s face.

Noah laughed and then abruptly stopped. He had a far away look in his eyes.

“Dave, I’m at the point in my life that I wonder: What it was all about? The idea of having meaning comes to mind. I’ve struggled all of my life to achieve goals and make something of myself, but that only makes sense if those achievements will be permanent in some way. What do you think?”

“I’m afraid your achievements won’t be permanent. Even if you wrote a best selling piece of literature that was read years after your death, it would eventually vanish. If there is to be any meaning to what we do, we have to find it WITHIN our own lives.”

“I’ve worked to earn money to support myself and my family. I eat because I’m hungry. I sleep because I’m tired. I read for info and pleasure. I go for walks because it makes me feel good. I help people when I can. But these things don’t seem enough somehow…”

“My friend, all those things we do WITHIN life, none of those things explain the point of your life as a WHOLE.”

“So, you’re implying that from the outside, it wouldn’t matter if I had never existed!”

“Keep your shirt on. One way your life could have a larger meaning is if you somehow changed the world for the better, but most of us don’t accomplish that.”

We both sipped our beer and pondered.

“I just thought of something, Noah. Why isn’t it all right for our lives to be POINTLESS? Why worry whether or not the WHOLE is meaningless?”
“But Dave, I do care about what my WHOLE stood for!” said Noah, very seriously.

“I think that’s the problem, we take ourselves too seriously. We want to matter to ourselves so badly, and if we see pointlessness in our lives, we are dissatisfied and the wind is taken out of our sails.”

Noah smiled and said: “Perhaps we just have to put up with life being ridiculous, meaningless and absurd.”

“We should both go back to the beginning of our conversation when we were laughing because that reduces stress, combats depression and increases resilience.”

“That’s right Dave, we must remember that a lot of life is funny and then laugh at ourselves.”

“A good laugh heals a lot of meaninglessness,” I said, smiling.

“When you’re laughing, not even absurdity can stand,” said Noah, laughing so hard he had to take a deep breath.

“In conclusion, I will leave you with this, Noah:

AT OUR AGE, TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES AND WALK IN FRONT OF A MIRROR. I GUARANTEE YOU WILL LAUGH YOUR HEAD OFF!”