“Have you ever felt that all that used to be familiar was now foreign to you?”
“I felt that way after my mother died.”
“This feeling can arise after a loved one passes away or when you or someone close to you is facing an illness. Your world feels unreal!”
“Sometimes I feel isolated after a traumatic event. Especially a situation that you can’t control or stop.”
“Yes, you can perceive your environment in an altered or distorted way. You feel hollow inside. You are a stranger to yourself!”
“I’m always monitoring my feelings and then I feel very uncomfortable.”
“This is known as Self-Focus. You succumb to despair about your predicament.
Obsessive self-focus can lead to endless thinking about unpleasant feelings and hopelessness.”
“You say to yourself, “Am I living for myself or am I living for this mental discomfort?
Who is in control?”
“I’ve said that to myself but what can I do about it?”
“You have to ACCEPT those feelings and the situation you’re in and live your life.
This is called PSYCHOLOGICAL FLEXIBILITY, which means you are accepting your bad emotions as you keep going on living ONE DAY AT A TIME.”
“Now I realize that engaging in life despite discomfort doesn’t always sit well with people.
They say, “I shouldn’t have to live this way, I just want the discomfort to go away!”
“But when you are willing to meet a range of bad emotions head on, you open yourself up to the possibility of going on with life’s possibilities ONE DAY AT A TIME.
That’s all you have to do is keep going on with your daily activities no matter what.”
“So what will guide you?”
“Your personal values, this is the direction you want to travel because it is meaningful to you.”
“So, in summary, lets go over some points:
First, ACCEPT your discomfort while staying engaged in life.
Validate your negative emotions—this means that you accept them and you know they are present and you allow yourself to feel them.
Remember: the more you struggle, the more your emotions will suck you under like quicksand.
The key is: stop fighting your bad feelings and accept your situation. You don’t feel like it but it is what it is!
Once you accept them, they will lose their strength.
Second, defuse your thoughts, observe them and move on.
Third, don’t try to avoid discomfort.
Clarify your values and live by them.”
“Remember: A valued lifestyle and acceptance equals committed action.
You won’t be a stranger to yourself if you follow this advice.
You will be the boss of your inner space.”
DON’T WORRY YOU ARE NOT LOSING IT!”
Man’s biggest problem is not “outer space” but “inner space”.
I’M VERY HAPPY WITH MYSELF. I USED TO HAVE TO STOP AND THINK TO GET MYSELF CENTERED AND ABLE TO ACCEPT WHAT IS. FOR THE LAST YEAR IT HAS ALMOST BECOME AUTOMATIC. NOW WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENS AND I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO RESPOND, I SAY TO MYSELF “I DON’T WANT TO DO THAT”, AND THE FEELING PASSES ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. IT DOESN’T BOTHER ME AND I REMAIN FEELING GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
MAYBE DAVES’ BLOGS ARE AWAKENING A NEW TOM.
THANKS DAVE.