“ I feel very protective toward my Long Lost Cousin. We lost contact for 50 years and then we got connected again. We are only 11 years apart but I feel like a father to him. When we first met, I was 21 and he was 10. So I first knew him as a boy. But now, when he has a problem, and he has quite a few, he comes to me for sorting out.
One day he came to me with the problem of the moment.
“Cousin, I feel like my thoughts are all jumbled up in my head. I need clarity!”
“On what issues are you looking for clarity?” I said, sympathetically.
He thought for a moment.
“I’m not really sure!”
I shook my head.
“What have you been doing to alleviate this stress?”
“I find popping plastic bubble wrap very helpful!”
There was a problem here!
“Cousin, I like to do things that I want to do, and I like to get things I want. But people tell me it is bad and wrong to be selfish! I’m confused.”
“My dear LLC, no one knows your needs and wants better than you and you have a great interest in seeing them fulfilled. Your happiness is up to you. Be selfish!”
“That’s a load off my mind,” said my cousin, smiling.
“Anything else jumbled up?”
“I interrupted some one the other day and they said they disapproved of me. This bothered me.”
“This remark shouldn’t bother you. You can’t please everyone, and don’t give yourself chronic anxiety by trying. Just because of one specific fault, don’t put down your whole being.”
“Thanks for that, cousin, I feel better already.”
Did I sort him out for today?
“One more thing, I got angry yesterday defending one of my opinions and I felt bad about it.”
“Your anger was an honest communication of your feelings, it was not an attack on anyone.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you, cousin.”
“That’s what I’m here for. Too bad we lost 50 years!”
I thought I was finished for the day, when…
“One more thing, cousin, sometimes I think there are people under my bed!”
As I walked him to the door, I said:
“Well, go home and cut the legs off of your bed!”
Laughed out loud at the ending, Dave
GREAT ADVICE………….IF IT WEREN’T FOR COUSIN JIM YOU WOULD HAVE A LOT OF BLANK PAGES ON YOUR BLOG.
Thanks a lot cousin, now the bed is so low I have to fall down to get into bed, and whats worse, I can’t get up!
Hah! Loved the punch line on this one.
You have an answer for everything, Dave!
Well, I did study psychology in college!
Laughed hard and loud Dave, thanks. Loved it.
Happy to pop over to your blog, Dave. I enjoyed reading your extract and spluttered coffee over my keyboard. I’ll be sending you the bill.
Ah Dave that made me giggle….loved the wise answers and the last bit was hilarious!! Hugs, Jo. xx