Problems Are Good For You

“I don’t need or want any problems, thank you.”

This is probably the typical response to the dictate, “Problems Are Good For You”. Too many problems tend to break people down. You need to be strong minded and have courage and hope to face problems.

But, on the plus side, solving life’s difficulties increases our confidence, our courage, and our powers of strategy and efficiency. By facing and conquering obstacles, your mind grows strong and your character develops.

For many people, problems mean insecurity. But in reality, the only internal security you have is in the knowledge that you can handle life’s difficulties in a positive way.

Many people avoid dealing with problems because they fear failure. This fear leads to emotional, mental, and physical immobility and the inability to function productively.

Sometimes, failure in solving a problem is just someone else’s opinion on how it should be solved. Once you realize there are many ways to solve a problem and many learning experiences connected with the search for a solution, total failure won’t exist for you!

Even if you don’t completely solve a difficulty, you can learn just from trying. Without trying we learn nothing. So even out of so called “failure” can come good!

After you have faced problems and not run away, and come up with solutions, you become a person filled with confidence. You become secure in the knowledge that you can handle any difficulty that comes along in life. This confident thought inspires and strengthens you. Solving problems can change your destiny. Every victory helps you acquire a sense of purpose, meaning and fulfillment in your life.

So, problems ARE good for you!

 

A COMMENT FROM A FELLOW WRITER:

“Writer Dave has attempted to write about something that is really important. There is nothing to fear except fear itself, but writing about it in a creative way is very difficult. I am not yet brave enough to write a serious article. I salute Writer Dave, a brave man!”

15 Minutes Of Fame

These fleeting moments can come at any time of life, they can come often or hardly at all!

Moments when you felt on top of the world.

Moments when you felt that you had “made it”.

15 minutes of fame, was an expression coined by Andy Warhol.

15 minutes, meaning the fleeting nature of fame.

Four stories of my “15 minutes of fame”.

THE HOME RUN

I was 11 years old. It was the day of the school softball game against a rival school. I was the last one to be chosen to play for my school. Probably, because of my mediocre softball skills!

Our parents were invited and of course some pupils from each school. A large crowd of onlookers!

So, it was the last of the ninth inning and I came up to bat. I saw the long faces of my team-mates. They were thinking they wish someone else was up to bat. Someone who could hit!

The score was 0-0!

I was nervous but I tried not to show it. I took a couple of practice swings, like the pros. On the first pitch I swung with all my might and connected.

The ball flew out of the infield into the outfield and fell between the left fielder and the center fielder. They both were running after the ball, it went all the way to the barrier.

I was running around the bases as fast as I could, yet it seemed like slow motion!

The center fielder finally ran down the ball and threw it back to the infield, but by that time I had crossed home plate.

Bedlam broke out!

All my team-mates were jumping up and down and patting me on the back. All the parents were clapping and cheering. I had won the ball game and I felt 10 feet tall!

My accomplishment was reported in the school newspaper. It was a great day!

TOP OF THE CLASS

I was 15 years old and I was the only one in the class to get 100% on a big Latin exam. The teacher told me to stand and take a bow. The 30 students in the class and the teacher gave me a round of applause. I was ecstatic!

LOCAL FAME

I was 30 years old and getting married in Rothwell, in 1969.

When I came out of the doors of the Parish Church with my new wife for the picture taking, a huge cheer went up from the assembled crowd. People were sitting on the walls around the Church. I was gob-smacked! It seemed like the whole town had come out to see what this American looked like that was marrying a local girl.

The crowd was cheering and clapping. A reporter from the local paper was taking photos. I felt like a Rock Star! It was reported in the local paper. It was like a Royal wedding!

TEN-PIN BOWLING STAR

I was 69 years old and I bowled my highest game ever. Now, a perfect game is a 300 score, that’s 12 strikes in a row! I had bowled 8 strikes and 4 spares which gave me a 235 game! I felt invincible throwing the ball that day!

When the game finished, I had a crowd around my alley, all clapping. It was a great feeling!

The management of the alleys gave me a printout of my game and a voucher for 3 free games. No newspaper story this time!

Assertiveness Equals Strength

Do you want to be strong in your dealings with other people? Of course, you say. Then you want to assert yourself.

There is a difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness!

Aggressiveness—Using violent, hostile and angry behavior and attitudes to be forceful.

Assertiveness—It is the ability to communicate clearly and confidently your needs, wants, ideas, opinions and feelings. When you accept that not everyone in the world will be kind and caring toward you, you realize the need for assertiveness.

To be assertive:

  1. It means leaving a strong impression on others. You can handle criticism and exploitation and eventually master the situation. Strength is the name of the game and people respect you more when you are strong in your ideas and opinions and you feel you are a worthy, effective person.
  2. The assertive person doesn’t want or need to ask permission to speak, to think, or to need approval from others, although it’s nice to get it.
  3. Use your posture and body language to communicate self-confidence. Stand tall and sit erect. Have eye contact and speak in a firm voice.
  4. You will actively seek out what you want. The assertive person will find the work he wants to do, hobbies that interest him and friends who stimulate and support.

In dealing with life, we need high self-esteem and being assertive will give you this. Being assertive is also having courage, the willingness to confront fear and to stand up to it.

When you assert yourself, first you think, then you do, and after you do, you know and understand.

There is an exception to that statement:

Life is like moving a glass vase. The most important thing is not to drop it. You need to understand that BEFORE you act! Afterwards, you may come to understand how you came to drop it, but the damage is done!

It’s like that when you deal with people’s feelings. If you damage them, it may take a long time just to repair the damage and you may never achieve that!

Can you be assertive and humble at the same time?

Sometimes gentleness is the best attitude, then nobody feels threatened. Some weak people wouldn’t relate well to an assertive person. So, it would be wonderful if we could combine assertiveness with humility.

Assertion can be attained by being forceful and confident without being contemptuous of others. Even when you are being assertive, you can still have reverence for others.

So, you feel good when you are strong, and assertiveness equals strength!

I hope I explained the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness.

 

Conspiracy Theories

I love to hear a good conspiracy theory!

Some people are uncomfortable with them. But for me, conspiracy theories are intriguing. It’s like exploring a puzzle or a mystery novel.

I’m a writer and I find it interesting to consider the theory, weigh the evidence and see if it makes any sense. I suppose, for some, it’s a form of entertainment.

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It’s a fact that at least half of the civilized world agree with one or more of the common theories.

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There is an emotional tug to conspiracy theories because the human brain evolved by processing information about survival in the wild. This includes the tendency to assume that unseen predators are lurking in the bushes and that coincidental events are somehow related.

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What is a “conspiracy theory”?

It’s a proposed plot by powerful people or organizations working in secret to accomplish some sinister goal.

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Once a person believes one theory they will believe in many because they would begin to see the authorities as fundamentally deceptive.

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People question things: Why is there EVIL on earth? Humans have a dark side!

Why do bad things happen? Because there are Evil people that benefit from them! This is the underlying structure of conspiracy theories.

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Many people, today, feel powerless and isolated and they imagine a world in which other people have unlimited power and work secretly together to achieve their goals.

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There is a human need to explain the world and the presence of EVIL in it!

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Conspiracy theories connect the dots of random events into meaningful patterns and then you look for confirming evidence and low and behold you have a “conspiracy theory”!

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People feel “shadowy forces” are behind major world events. The theories come from a paranoid mindset: “Somebody is out to get us!”

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Belief in conspiracies is predictable when people are fed lies and distortions and when simple facts are declared “state secrets”.

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A lot of what gets categorized as conspiracy is often people just trying to make sense of things in a world where government and the media inform us in a way that best suits their agenda.

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It’s intriguing that the theories are usually based on claims that are nearly impossible to prove or disprove. Hence, skepticism is increased!

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Ordinary folk feel left out of the mechanics of power mainly because politicians are so devious. So naturally, it’s easy to believe that political affairs can be driven by sinister forces.

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The “Powers That Be” use the term “conspiracy theory” to provide a convenient way of brushing serious allegations aside, because they want the official version of events to prevail. So much of what is reported is manipulated and distorted, now days, that we tend NOT to believe the “official version” of anything!

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In conclusion: If politicians and the media were more reliable, forthcoming and truthful, maybe the public would believe the “official version” of things more.

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So, readers, what is your favorite conspiracy theory and why?

And do you believe it?

 

How To Better Our World

Create a New World Order, of worldwide leadership, to initiate big changes, by uniting the leaders of the world to make unified decisions to eliminate conflict. It might be uncomfortable at first, but if we don’t do something different it could bring on terrible consequences and much more difficult problems for the people of the future.

The Idea:

Unite three areas of society:

Political and Economic leaders in one group.

Spiritual and Religious leaders in another group.

Scientists and Environmentalists in a third group.

These three sections of leadership MUST AGREE upon all decisions made for the planet unanimously.

THIS IS A BIG CONCEPT AND A TALL ORDER, BUT WE MUST TRY IT!

But, what can we do on an INDIVIDUAL basis?

Well, I’m a writer, a creative person, and I want to make ART!

We were all put here to do something we’re passionate about. So, when I put my writing out into the world, I hope it promotes more understanding of the Human Condition.

I want to provide my readers with an experience, to increase their understanding of themselves and the world we live in. I want to inspire my readers to “THINK” productively. Because if we get our thinking right, we will solve problems more easily.

We rely on creativity. Progress is due to creativity, to look at things in a different way, to do things in a different way and to put things together to deliver new values. Creativity supplies us with new ideas and new possibilities.

So, hopefully, my writing will inspire my readers to become better people who eventually will make a better world, through better understanding.

I’ve had people tell me they have learned a new way of looking at things after reading some of my stories and articles, and that inspires me! I have stories to tell and I know there are people out there who could benefit from reading them!

Through a story, you can show a person that they can get rid of their demons and become better members of society.

Choice, Our Strength Or Weakness

You can be happy and content or unhappy and miserable. The choice is yours. You are, what you choose.

Are you surprised that you have this power? Did you think that “things” just happen, or that your life is completely predetermined? In reality, your happiness or unhappiness is determined by whether you are under the influence of a positive or negative mental attitude. And which attitude you have is your choice.

Our power of choice can be our strength or it can be our weakness.  It all depends on the choices we make. The RIGHT choices are our strength. They bring happiness, health, and an enjoyable, productive life. The WRONG choices are our weakness. They bring misery, sickness, and a depressing, aimless life.

We can, through our conscious mind, control our emotions and feelings, if we choose to do so. Our thoughts, are the one thing we possess, over which we alone have complete control, through choice. Our feelings and emotions come from our thoughts.

You must understand the incredible power of your mind for strength or weakness. Your power of choice makes the difference. It is the thoughts and concepts in your mind that make you happy or miserable. You, and you alone, choose what thoughts will occupy your mind.

Your choices form your philosophy of life. One of the most important choices should be the enjoyment of life. Because if you don’t knowhow to enjoy life, you’re going to be a burden to yourself and to others.

You are the product of your heredity, environment, physical body, conscious and subconscious mind and experiences. You have the power of choice, in which you can affect, use, control, or harmonize with all of the above. So you are, also, the product of your choices.

Be it physically, mentally, or emotionally, we have choices to make. Your whole being, who you are, your identity, stem from what choices you make.

Physically, you can choose to be optimistic  and relax and be healthy. Or you can choose to race your human motor and clog it up with fear thoughts leading to a breakdown.

Mentally, you must choose the right thoughts. You must put good quality thoughts in your mind. This will give you a contented mind. You will be able to think clearly.

Emotionally, when you make the right choices, such as optimism, positivity, and purposeful living, you will feel good and your emotions will work for you.

Make the wrong choices, such as worry or fear, you are misusing your emotions and they will work against you.

So, why use your power of choice to make yourself weak, miserable, and sick? This misuse of your power will only make you ineffective in dealing with life.

Why not use your power of choice to make yourself strong, happy and healthy? Use your power  to cultivate your own beautiful garden in life.

Strength or weakness, the CHOICE is yours.

Find Yourself

You are unique. You are important. You are the only person who can bring yourself happiness. You are the only person who can find your talents and your purpose in life. You are the only person who CAN FIND YOURSELF!

Your purpose then, in finding yourself, is to meet life the best you can and enjoy it.

First, you must try to discover and develop the talents that you possess. The talent is there, it is in you, the problem is to discover it and dig it out.

Everyone has some talent, some ability to do some one thing or things very well. Few people make full use of their talents. You need to analyse yourself, to see yourself objectively, and to see possibilities in yourself. You will find your talents through intelligent application of your inner resources to the fields for which you are fitted.

Second, after you have found your talents, you need to have a sense of purpose in life, otherwise you will have a feeling of emptiness.

What is a sense of purpose? It’s your feelings of worthiness, aliveness and significance as a unique human being, it is your real reason for being here in the first place. It’s an internal feeling.

So, a sense of purpose can be achieved by matching up everything you do daily, with a feeling of importance and personal mission. A mantra you could use:

“ I am going to feel complete and fulfilled in my life because I am unique and worth it.”

Third, don’t settle for less than you could be. You can become anything you choose. You should think you are as important as any human who has ever lived before you.

And finally, it is never too late to change your position in life, be you middle-aged or old. True, some achievements require a certain length of time to accomplish and a certain amount of effort. But, while you may have missed out on many opportunities in life, you can adjust yourself to the circumstances that surround you and get more out of life than you have thought possible. Try to grow every day.

So, to find yourself, and you can, you have to give yourself a great deal of personal attention. Your life is yours to make of it what you will. But you have to find yourself and be yourself. Don’t allow others or any force of circumstances to keep you from doing the things you want most to do, for there, is where your success lies.

 

PS-And don’t forget to appreciate the worth of others, this will give you a balanced view of life.

Luck, Fairness And Justice, Is There Any?

Luck, fairness and justice, three concepts that many of us think we don’t get much of. This fact could depress us. But, luckily, we can change this around for ourselves.

Thomas Jefferson said, “ I’m a great believer in luck, and the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

What is luck? To most people it means good fortune, advantage or success, that happens to a person purely by chance. If you wait for this definition of luck to affect you, you will wait a long time, maybe all your life! So many people go through life lamenting, “ I’m so unlucky, nothing seems to go my way.”

But, does it have to be this way? Can you make your own “luck”?

People crave fairness for themselves, and in the world. You and I would like everything to be, at least, moderately good or satisfactory in life. Ideally, people would like everything to be free from bias, inequity, dishonesty and injustice. But is this the way it is? No!

So, the concept of fairness is easily explained, but impossible to implement. Fairness is sort of an innocence of mind.

The world wouldn’t function if everything had to be exactly fair. Everyone’s self-interest would have to be satisfied. This would promote conflicting demands and social chaos. People would be bumping into each other, literally and figuratively. Even nature would be stunted. Nature isn’t fair, animals eat other animals. This isn’t fair to the ones being eaten. Tornadoes, floods and all kinds of natural disasters are not fair to the ones affected. But this is all part of the balance of nature.

Everyday the world and it’s inhabitants are unfair in some way. But, we are all conditioned to look for fairness in life, and when it doesn’t happen, we tend to feel anger, anxiety and frustration.

Can we make our own fairness?

Aristotle defined justice as the principle that equals should be treated equally and unequals  treated unequally.

We all have an instinctive need for justice. But so many people feel the world is full of injustice, and the only way to live, is to do an injustice to someone before they do one to you. One of the paradoxes of life is that people have a need for justice, but they deal with inequity by doing more injustice to others to get even.

Another negative attitude toward justice is the way some people view the legal system. It’s as if the rich and influential are judged by a different set of rules than the masses.

Justice is defined as the quality of being just and equitable. It’s the quality of moral rightness. But can we, as individuals, help justice survive and satisfy our need?

The world runs on the basis of struggle, and with struggle comes inequities. Out of this comes a feeling that there is no luck, no fairness, and no justice. What can we do to turn our attitude positive?

So, luck, fairness, justice, is there any? As we have seen, externally (outside yourself), in the outside world, there is little to none. But internally (within yourself), I say, yes, there can be luck, fairness and justice in your own personal world.

Can you make your own luck? Yes, but how? By working hard to attain your goals. It all depends upon your mental attitude toward “bad breaks”. Successful people turn the so called “bad breaks” around to their advantage, if this isn’t possible, they learn lessons from them.

In the final analysis, if you stick to your goals and grasp opportunities, the “luck” comes.

Can we make our own fairness? Yes, I believe you can, if you stop comparing yourself to what others have or do, and start comparing yourself with yourself.

You are a unique person in this unfair world, so you must begin to see your emotional life as separate from what others say, do, or have. When you compare yourself by your own standards, you are creating your own fairness.

Can we serve our instinct and help justice survive? Yes, I believe we can, by developing new thinking. Believing that a situation doesn’t have to be unjust, if enough people decide they want to change it for the better. And you can start the ball rolling by not doing injustices to others.

We can all do our little bit by helping get a new law passed or supporting some cause that we believe will bring more justice to the world. Right action with good will toward your fellow humans will help justice along the way.

You have the power to choose, so your destiny is in your own hands. You can make your own “luck”. You can create your own fairness, and you can help justice survive.

Remember, whatever happens in the outside world, is not as important as your attitude toward it.

Good luck and happy expectations.

Assertiveness Equals Strength

Do you want to be strong in your dealings with other people? Of course, you say. Then you want to assert yourself.

What is assertiveness? It is the ability to communicate clearly and confidently your needs, wants, ideas, opinions and feelings. When you accept that not everyone in the world will be kind and caring toward you, you realize the need for assertiveness.

To be assertive:

  1. It means leaving a strong impression on others. You can handle criticism and exploitation and eventually master the situation. Strength is the name of the game and people respect you more when you are strong in your ideas and opinions and you feel you are a worthy, effective person.
  2.  The assertive person doesn’t want or need to ask permission to speak, to think, or to need approval from others, although it’s nice to get it.
  3. Use your posture and body language to communicate self-confidence. Stand tall and sit erect. Have eye contact and speak in a firm voice.
  4. You will actively seek out what you want. The assertive person will find the work he wants to do, hobbies that interest him and friends who stimulate and support.

In dealing with life, we need high self-esteem and being assertive will give you this. Being assertive is also having courage, the willingness to confront fear and to stand up to it.

When you assert yourself, first you think, then you do, and after you do, you know and understand.

There are exceptions to that statement:

Life is like moving a glass vase. The most important thing is not to drop it. You need to understand that BEFORE you act! Afterwards, you may come to understand how you came to drop it, but the damage is done.

It’s like that when you deal with people’s feelings. If you damage them, it may take a long time just to repair the damage and you may never achieve that!

There is one question about assertiveness that keeps popping up:

“ Can you be assertive and humble at the same time?”

Sometimes gentleness is the best attitude, then nobody feels threatened. Some weak people wouldn’t relate well to an assertive person. So, it would be wonderful if we could combine assertiveness with humility.

Assertion can be attained by being forceful and confident without being contemptuous of others. You can still have reverence for others.

Happily, we can be humble and assertive at the same time, if you are smart enough to choose your words and attitude to prove something without being hostile.

So, you feel good when you are strong, and assertiveness equals strength!

Article–Change versus Security

We are all changing constantly! We live from day to day and our bodies and our brains are changing, growing, renewing, and replacing their cells. Changing, not only physically but emotionally and psychologically.

So,we are literally different people as time goes by. How can we maintain a sense of security with all this going on?

“ No man is free who is not master of himself,” said the ancient philosopher, Epictetus. But to be master of yourself, you have to deal with change effectively and understand the nature of security. Change and security are opposites. Change is the natural law of life. But in this changing world, you need some security for balance.

Change handled positively equals growth. Security, in the right form and amount equals stability.

External security refers to outside guarantees, such as money, house, car, and job. The guarantee that all external things in your world will be okay forever. is impossible in a changing world. You can only have partial external security.

Internal security is the ability to trust yourself and being content in your present life. Having the knowledge that you can handle problems when they arise. This kind of security can be obtained. Only the internally insecure strive for complete external security.

There are three attitudes toward change. The neurotic is characterised by panic and inertia. The normal is what most of us do, cope and strive. The master of self is a person who welcomes change, because that’s the way they enjoy life with growth and new horizons.

Change is going on all around us:

First, there are natural changes. We go through biological changes, birth, childhood, puberty to old age. These changes are forced on us and we have to adapt.

Other changes forced on us are, loosing a loved one, friend, parent, or unexpected redundancy, etc.

Then there is choice change, changes we choose for ourselves. Such as, marriage, new interests, job change, etc. These changes come about through the power of choice.

Virtually, everything we do entails some security and insecurity. If you stand up to an argumentative person, you may be outwardly full of confidence, but you may be, also, shaking inside. We have moments of security and insecurity. We tread the middle ground.

We need a positive view of change.We have a need to understand ourselves  and a need for growth. It’s only through this journey of self-discovery that we develop the flexibility and awareness to deal with life and live it enjoyably and productively.

A negative view of change makes a person unable to grow and learn. They are frightened that change will shatter everything they know.

When your life changes you must adapt to the new situation and accept reality.

If change is inevitable, and it is, we have to live with it positively.We need to set goals and decide what’s best for us and work out how to do it.

When you have the inner security to deal with change, you will be master of yourself. When yourlife changes and you have the inner security to see it positively, there is a new beginning. And that is what an enjoyable, productive life is all about:

New Beginnings and Happy Expectations

For Today and Tomorrow