“ Hello? What did you say? Can you speak louder, please? Turn up the volume on the TV!”

I had been suffering with this plugged up right ear for 10 weeks, ever since I had the sore throat and flu. It seemed like phlegm got into my ear passage. When one of your senses goes wonky, you realize how you take it for granted. My whole life was being affected.

The first time I went to the GP, he gave me antibiotics and oil to put in my ear. I had been inhaling medicated steam without any results. The antibiotics and oil didn’t help.

The second time he gave me antihistamines. They didn’t help.

It was uncomfortable,  this plugged up ear, it made me heavy headed on one side. My hearing was muffled on the right side. When I talked, it was like talking in an echo chamber. I didn’t know how loud I was talking, until people started telling me.

I could hear things going on inside my head and body better than things in the outside world. For example, I could hear my jugular vein pulsating and if I was going to belch, I could hear the wind coming up from the deep recesses of my stomach through my tubes. It was weird!

The third time to the GP, he said I would have to see a specialist and he would put me on the NHS waiting list. I told him I would pay for the specialist, I wanted to get this over with!

I went to the private specialist with £50 on me, he took all of it.

Now, I was under the impression that the specialist would clear my ear right in his office. I had a similar condition with my ear years ago in the USA. Then the doctor blew out the phlegm from my ear with a bellows type instrument. I walked out, a half an hour later, hearing properly again! Quick and easy. But this time that was not to be. There were different techniques today.

The doctor examined me and said I would have to have a simple operation to remove the fluid from my middle ear. It involved a pin prick hole put into my ear drum and a grommet put in to act as a drain. I would have to have anaesthesia and this involved theatre time and an overnight stay in the hospital.

Well, you can imagine my disappointment and shock to find out that my simple blow out exercise had blown into a full scale theatre operation!

I was told if I wanted to go private, I could get it done in a couple of days, for about a £l,000. I couldn’t afford that. Put me on the waiting list.

So, it would be at least 7-8 weeks before my turn!

But, to my surprise, 2 weeks later, I got a letter telling me a bed was reserved at the General Hospital for me. I was to admit myself at 2 PM the following Monday. I believe I got in so fast because the specialist was on the staff of that hospital.

My wife and I went to the hospital and I got checked in. The nurse showed me to my bed. I was in the eye ward and it was mixed, men and women! I could hear my jugular vein pulsating away.

Looking at all the forlorn faces in the beds, it filled me with anxiety.

My next bed neighbour was in for a tonsillectomy. He was 29 years old. He was not happy. He hated hospitals. I ate a sandwich with a cup of coffee. That’s all I felt like.

I was reading and trying not to concentrate on the moans and groans around me. My wife came at 7PM for visiting and left at 8. I felt completely alone! I watched telly until 10 and decided to get into my night clothes and have an early night.

An old lady about 80, who had an eye op was kicking up a fuss. Her name was Gladys and she was delirious from the anaesthetic. She kept moaning, “ I want to go home.”

The nurse was trying to restrain her from getting out of bed.

“ No, Gladys, you can’t go home yet, you just had an operation.” Said the nurse, getting aggravated herself.

“ I want to go home,” repeats Gladys.

I thought it is going to be a long restless night, for me and for Gladys!

I think I awoke half asleep, I swear Gladys was standing by my bed smiling at me.Then, I dropped off to sleep again. Was it a nightmare?

Later on, someone startled me and put a sign above my bed that said, “ Nil By Mouth”. They took my water away. All of a sudden I was thirsty!

I got out of bed at 7AM. I couldn’t lay  there any longer. I put my robe on and sat in the big chair and began my morning wait.

I asked the nurse when my op will be. She told  me that my ear and the tonsils next to me, were last on the list for the morning. I would probably be  between 11 and 12 noon.

More waiting!

I sat looking at the op trolley come for different people, but not for me.

Finally, the nurse came and told me to get into my smock. Oh, the dreaded hospital smock, that lets in plenty of air and doesn’t leave you much dignity.

At 12:15 PM the trolley came for me. They covered me up and the nurse checked my name tag with her papers. I told her I was going for an ear op. I didn’t want a slip up, and get someone else’s op! The nurse said she knows what I’m going for. That was a great relief!

Watching the ceiling go by, They wheel me into the anaesthetic room. People were rushing around my body, attaching things to my chest that monitor the heart. The anaesthetist was talking to me.

“ Do I smoke?”

“ No, I gave it up,” I said.

He keeps talking, “ You’re American?”

“ Yes, from Chicago.”

My doctor was in the sea of faces looking at me. The anaesthetist injected by right arm and I was OUT!

The next thing I realised, someone was tickling the bottoms of my feet with a brush.

“ David, are you awake?”

“ Yes,” I whispered. I felt very heavy lidded and extremely euphoric. But, this feeling lasted only a few minutes.

On the way back to the ward, I started feeling very groggy and sickish. When we got back to the ward, I glanced at the clock, 1:20, a little over an hour. My wife was there, smiling at me, and helping the attendants to get me in bed. It was good to see her and to be back in the land of the living.

I had a sandwich and a banana right before I left the hospital at 6PM, on Tuesday. I had been in since 2PM the previous day.

The nurse came and cut my name tag off and said, “ I don’t want to see you back here tonight.” Probably because they would have to get another tag for me.

When I got home I threw up the sandwich and banana. It was Wednesday afternoon before I kept some solid food down.But at least I could hear properly again.

My doctor gave me a note saying not to go back to work until Monday. So, it was exactly one week from when I was admitted into the hospital. What an ordeal to correct a plugged up ear.

I hope I won’t take my health for granted again. Hospitals are wonderful when you need them, but hopefully I will never have to go back there again.

Incidentally, I don’t see Gladys in my dreams anymore!

We all compare things. This is done to discover likenesses and differences that suit us. But what I am concerned with here, is the most important measurement for you. The only personal comparison you should make.

Now, one side of the coin says: Comparison with others is a waste of time, it takes away from your true self, and can be destructive to your character.

The other side of the coin says: The above is a negative way of looking at comparison. Comparing ourselves with others allows us to learn, develop our own ways of doing things, find out that what we want is different from others, and it inspires us to greater things. So, not all comparison is negative.

Then again, to be in a comparison game with others might be the wrong way to think about yourself. A better attitude is to think of being in competition with yourself. Let what you do today compete with and surpass what you did yesterday, and you will think well of yourself.

It takes self-confidence for people to determine for themselves how well they are doing, or what they want to do. When they don’t have this confidence, they use the only standards available—comparison with others. But when you see your progress grow to your own standards, you gain confidence.

But, maybe your standards aren’t high enough, they don’t push you hard enough. If you use some one else’s higher standards, it might push you more. Human nature pushes us to compare ourselves with others. It’s fun and a form of competition.

Remember, there is only one of you, and you take yourself where ever you go! No one is exactly like you, in terms of your inner feelings, thoughts and capabilities.

You perceive, think, and feel in your own unique way.

If you accept this notion, then you will want to take a hard look at why you should use anyone else’s example as a barometer for how well you do something. So, you want to compare today’s “you” with yesterday’s “you”, to see if you grew any as an individual.

Here’s something to ponder: Your self-worth can never be verified by others, so why compare yourself with others? You are worthy because you are growing by your own standards. If you depend on other people’s standards for your value, it is their worth NOT your worth.

There is a school of thought that you will be happier when you don’t use other people’s status as a measurement of your own happiness. Compare you, with you.

Here’s hoping you have many happy and fulfilling comparisons, and day by day you can get better and better.

***

What do you think? Which is the most compelling view?

Or, do we use a blend of both sides of the coin?

This article is for all you frustrated philosophers out there. ANGER, is a self-provoking word. I hope this article makes you  STOP and THINK!

Like the bee’s sting, anger is self destructive and when it explodes, verbal and physical violence often ensues.

This emotion makes you feel miserable and depressed. Heated arguments, trying to make people understand your position, put a physical and mental strain on you. It can cause ulcers, high-blood pressure and heart trouble. If you can eliminate it, in the majority of instances, you will keep your sanity, your health and your happiness.

What is anger, anyway? It is strong feelings arouse by injury, injustice or wrongs, real or supposed. It makes us feel unworthy and guilty, it pulls us down from our true level as human beings. It is a wrong choice most of the time.

When anger is part of you, too much of the time, you concentrate on your grievances with life. To ease this you must concentrate on your successes, then you will gain confidence and feel good.

Like all emotions anger is the result of thinking, in this case wrong thinking. It comes from frustration, when we fail to achieve goals or satisfy basic desires.

Everyone feels frustrated, now and again, because we are imperfect, and the world is complex. But we don’t want destructive emotions to follow our frustration. We want constructive thinking to follow.

Annoyance, irritation, and disappointment are feelings that you very likely will continue to experience, since the world will never be completely the way you want it to be!

So you must convince yourself that anger weakens you and makes frustration unbearable. It attracts the wrong conditions, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. While constructive thoughts, confidence and courage attract the right conditions.

***

Now, all this is well and good! But, there is such a thing as Righteous Anger.

If people abuse you or a loved one, and if a child is bullied, anger maybe all you’ve got! It’s a defence mechanism. If you don’t use it, you have to cringe away.

A good burst of anger can clear the air. Are we not supposed to get angry at things like cruelty, injustice or stupidity?

I once heard an interesting story on how to channel your anger. A man got a very abusive letter from an acquaintance. The man was so enraged that he was on the brink of feeling sick!

“ What shall I do about it?” he asked his wife.

“ Write and tell him what you think of him. Get it all out of your system on paper.”

He did so.

His wife read the result.

“ Very good,” she said. “ Now do you feel better?”

“ Much better, thank you. Now, I’ll send it,” said the man.

“ Oh, don’t send it. It’s done it’s job. It has released your anger. Now tear up both letters and throw them away,” said his wife, smiling.

So, the elimination of anger, when you don’t need it, is going to lift a weight from your body and mind. You are going to enjoy life, relieved of tension and strain.

In most situations, say to anger,

“ You’re Unwanted!”

***

Your thoughts, please.

“ What? Problems are good for me? No, I don’t need or want any problems, thank you.”  This is probably the typical response to this article’s title. But there is plenty of evidence that problems are  good for you. Solving life’s difficulties increases our confidence, our courage, and our powers of strategy and efficiency. Problems can be the best things that happen to us, if we tackle them positively and see the advantages that can arise from victory.

Solving problems is what humans do. It’s what we do best. If we didn’t solve problems, we would still be making noises in the trees! Victory over problems equals growth and achievement in life. Life implies growth. In your psychological world, If you are growing you are alive. If you are not growing, you are psychologically dead. Solving problems keeps you mentally alive. By facing and conquering obstacles, your mind grows strong and your character develops.

Difficulties should be viewed as opportunities for growth and achievement. With each victory you grow in wisdom and experience.

It has been said that every problem has it’s solution hidden in it, and benefits come out of the solution. Thinking of this truth, creates enthusiasm for solving problems.

Bring on the problems! Get into the habit of having a positive mental attitude because your success in meeting challenges depends on it.

Many benefits come out of victory over social problems- overcoming social injustice, relieving poverty, better housing, etc.

Conquer the bad attitude of not wanting or avoiding problems.The more problems you have to solve, the more alive you are. Obstacles are a part of life, because everything in our world is in a constant process of change.

To many people, problems mean insecurity. But in reality, the only security you have is in the knowledge that you can handle life’s difficulties in a positive way.

Many people avoid dealing with problems because they fear failure This fear leads to emotional, mental, and physical immobility. But “ failure” in solving a problem is just someone else’s opinion of how it should be solved. There are many ways to solve a problem and many learning experiences connected with the search for a solution. Even if you don’t completely solve a difficulty, you learn just from trying. So even out of so called “ failure”, can come good.

Some people even make money from exploiting people’s  problems to some extent. Take some counsellors, for example, who often enjoy their problem involving jobs because it boosts their own egos, self-worthiness, self-importance and sense of superiority at the expense of problem sufferers! Hopefully, they help the sufferer a little, while they get these benefits for themselves.

After having faced problems, and not run away, and come up with solutions full of benefits, you become a person filled with confidence. Secure in the knowledge that you can handle most difficulties that come along in life. This thought inspires and strengthens you. Every victory helps you acquire a sense of fulfilment in your life. So, problems are good for you!

What do you think?