My friend came to see me one day and he was in a very disturbed state.

“I feel terrible so much of the time, I never seem to get on top of things. I’m so negative about everything.”

He was sweating.

“It’s your thoughts, probably, that are weighing you down,” I said, “What thoughts do you think about all day?”

He started wringing his hands.

“Well, when I get up in the morning, I think:

“It’s going to be another one of those days! Nothing ever goes right for me. I worry all day about EVERYTHING!”

“What if I invited you to my BBQ? Would that make you happy?”

“I’m not good with people, I freeze up in a group. I’m bad at conversation,” my friend mumbled.

“So, I can see you don’t feel good about yourself.”

“Sometimes I wish I’d never been born!”

I shook my head and said”

“My friend, you’re building a negative wall around yourself.”

“What’s this WALL business?”

“You are continually telling yourself negative things and your subconscious mind is picking it up. You are directing your subconscious to make you become the person you constantly describe, which is a negative, downbeat person.”

“So, what do I do to change?”

He looked so forlorn. I had to perk him up.

“Well buddy, you start to build a NEW WALL. A POSITIVE ONE!”

He looked at me unbelievingly.

“To change your ways, you will have to change the words of your self-talk.”

“How? What do I say?”

“I will tell you some positive self-talk to repeat to yourself constantly. If you do this, you will build a new wall. Say to yourself:

‘I will NOT worry, it is self-destructive thinking. I’m in control of my thinking and I will think only those thoughts which are positive and fulfill the best in me.”

“I choose to view my world in the bright, healthy light of optimism and self-assurance.”

“I control my thoughts. No thought can dwell in my mind without my permission.”

My friend smiled.

“I think I get it, I’ll start thinking good thoughts immediately.”

I shook his hand and said:

“Good for you and happy WALL BUILDING!”

Love is usually thought of as a positive emotion, but it has its bad side: It can lead to jealousy, anger, and it doesn’t always work out. Love can be an obsession and people can be cruel to the ones they love!

We “love” everything! People love their car. They love their dog or cat! They love pizza and beer! We love our country and finally we love our partner.

Confusing isn’t it?

Love is an engagement with the world. Love is a story and there are many stories about love, the most popular is Romeo and Juliet, but that ended in death!

A favorite story comes from a classic tale. In ancient times, human beings were different looking than they are now. They were big round bodies with two sets of arms, two sets of legs, and two heads. They would bounce around the world full of joy. But they were arrogant and the gods didn’t like this. So, they split the beings in two. Now, these beings were like us, with one head, two arms, and two legs. But we were not complete. So, we needed to find and reconnect with our other half. This was the origin of love. You had to find the right person to fit together with, your soul mate!

Quite a story, isn’t it?

But to fit together takes time, work and adjustment. Sometimes you become too dependent on your loved one for your identity and that can be detrimental!

There is an element of choice with the emotion of love. You might have an initial attraction toward someone but a lot of the time things do not work out.

The choice comes into play when you meet a person, then you choose to go out with them, then get serious, and finally, you choose to say, “I love you”. There’s the BOMB!

So, love is a process, a series of many choices.

Some people say relationships are “made in heaven”, many are NOT! You need to make the decision to do everything you can to make the relationship WORK!

I will leave you with this:

LOVE QUICKENS ALL THE SENSES—EXCEPT COMMON SENSE!

I lost my father, mother, and wife, all traumatic events. But, the grief was different in each case. Everyone grieves differently, for different reasons.

My different reactions to the three deaths:

My Dad’s death—I was fifteen years old. Of course I was shocked but I also felt abandoned. I needed my Dad at fifteen! I was angry that I had lost my adolescent guide. A selfish reaction of a kid!

My Mother’s death—I was thirty-two years old. I felt very sad that my mom was gone. I was now an orphan! But my mother was sick (diabetes complications), so it was merciful that she didn’t have to suffer anymore.

My Wife’s death—My wife was fifty-seven years old, so was I. She died of cancer and it took her quick. I felt it was so unfair because she was looking forward to retirement. I felt lots of anxiety about the future without my wife. Many things were left unsaid also. Guilt feelings overwhelmed me because I was still alive and she wasn’t.

But I did survive these sad times. Time is the healer!

***

One of the most interesting features of grief, which sets it off from other emotions, is that it’s not only appropriate but also obligatory!

It’s appropriate to grieve, in fact, if you lost someone close to you and didn’t grieve, people and yourself would wonder what’s wrong with you! It’s obligatory in the sense that it is something you ought to do, it is required by custom! You ought to feel the pain of the loss!

Anger and denial are also part of the grieving process. Emotions usually have to do with some sort of desire. But what is the desire in grief? What you want in grief is IMPOSSIBLE! It’s a strange emotion, this grief, because what you want is for the person who has died to come back!

Grief triggers off many thoughts, some pleasurable, such as thinking of you life with the deceased, some morbid!

Grief reminds us of our own mortality. This sparks off the fear of your own death. But the philosophers tell us, “Death is Nothing”. No pleasures and no experiences. These you had when you were alive.

So, it’s BIRTH—LIFE—DEATH. Enjoy and be creative and productive in between! So, we are NOT afraid of death, which is nothingness. We are afraid of the process of dying, which includes sickness, pain and degeneration. There is a social side to all of this also, you don’t want to leave family and friends.

But grief can have a joyful side too. It can be a celebration of the lost loved one, and also, a happiness at being ALIVE!

So, in the end, you do gain, in the sense that you appreciate the time you have been together and you appreciate what it is to be ALIVE!

IT’S ALL IN THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THINGS!

When I revisited my hometown of Chicago after a long absence, there were two places I had to revisit. One was the beautiful Buckingham Fountain, and the other one was Wrigley Field, home of the Chicago Cubs baseball team.

I went to this baseball ground many times as a boy and a man. I always had a fabulous time there. Every time I go back it brings memories of my youth.

Wrigley Field is one of baseball’s oldest parks, built in 1914 as a 14,000 seat park. It is beautiful with ivy growing on the outfield walls. It seats over 41,000 now, after many years of adding seats. It was named Wrigley Field after the chewing gum man who bought the club in 1920.

One of its distinctive features is a hand-operated scoreboard, which is 30 feet by 75 feet. In this electronic age, Wrigley Field remains one of baseball’s most old-fashioned parks.

I can remember going to the park, one day, with my friends when I was 10 years old. We would take our baseball mitts just in case a foul ball came our way. At the “Seventh Inning Stretch” everyone gets on their feet and sings, `’Take Me Out To The Ballgame”. It’s a great atmosphere!

I remember one incident vividly. After the game, kids would wait for an hour or so for the players to come out of the dressing room and we would get autographs of our heroes.

Well, this particular time, we caught up with Hank Sauer, a big home run hitter at the time. He was the first player to hit three homers in one game off of the same pitcher!

My friend and I went up to him and he was like a giant compared to us. We probably looked like a couple of waifs!

“Will you sign our scorecards and shake our hands, please?” I said, timidly.

He looked down at us and said, “Lets see your hands.”

We turned our hands palms up.

He looked and said, “They’re too dirty!” Then he walked away.

That remark left us standing there with our mouths open!

Needless to say, we changed our allegiance to a more affable player. This memory still makes me smile today.

So whenever I get back to the “Windy City”, I have to see a ballgame at good old Wrigley Field.

Pessimist Views on the Meaning of Life:

Life is Meaningless.

Life is a Struggle.

Life is Absurd.

Life is a long struggle in the Dark.

Life is a predicament that precedes Death.

You’re born, and you don’t know Why.

You’re here, and you don’t know Why.

You Die, and you don’t want to.

The result is you’re a Loser.

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Optimist Views on the Meaning of Life:

Life is to be Enjoyed.

We create our own Meaning of Life.

We are here to seek Wisdom and to be Productive.

To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, this is the only Meaning of Life.

Life is what you make it.

You get up in the morning and you go to bed at night. In between you try to be happy.

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Don’t we all have a mixture of these views at different times of our lives?

Our response to these views determine the principles by which we live as well as our goals and priorities in life.

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What did you say to yourself at 20 -30 years old?

“What did I learn today?

Why don’t I do the things I know I should be doing?

You should be getting your butt kicked by you boss once in a while.

You need to be pushed to your limits.

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What did you say to yourself at 40 –60 years old?

Time is NOT a limitless commodity. Finish what you start and don’t procrastinate.

Should I be focused on today or tomorrow? Life is a balance of knowing when to enjoy the moment vs. when to plant the seeds for tomorrow.

What did I learn today?

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What did you say to yourself when you were old, 65+?

What’s left to accomplish?

You need a hobby, a passion (mine is writing).

What did I learn today?

You’re always learning or should be.

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THE MEANING OF LIFE

I hope you come to your own conclusions on this ETERNAL QUESTION.

CLOSE THE OPEN BORDERS AND START VETING THE NEWCOMERS

FROM THE EU.

BRITIAN IS FULL UP!!!

Excess immigration is clogging up the country!

1. The NHS is creaking under the burden.
2. Our culture is being diluted.
3. Schools are bursting. No places for new students.
4. Modes of transportation are clogged.
5. The Welfare System is becoming a free hand out system to people who never contribute.
6. Housing shorages.
7. Tens of thousands of new homes will be built on Green Field land to accommodate the ever increasing population. The countryside is diminishing!
8. With open borders there is a Security risk! Who is coming in?

Criminals, Terrorists, Human Traffickers?

***

By the time Cameron and the conservatives give us a referendum in two years, another 500,000 people will be here!

The faster we close the borders the better.

The tolerance of the British people is being severely stretched!

We must vet the people coming in and once they are in they must integrate and want to integrate and not stand on the fringes of society.

HOW CAN WE CLOSE THE BORDERS AND VET THE PEOPLE COMING IN?

WE HAVE TO LEAVE THE EU!!!

AND THEN INSTALL A AUSTRALIAN POINT SYSTEM FOR VETING.

If we had the Australian Point System in place last year, a bare 27,000 people would have qualified to come into the UK, instead of the 250,000 that came in!

How does it work? You accumulate points on the answers to questions:

1. Do you speak good English?
2. How many years in employment do you have?
3. What skills do you have?
4. Education?
5. Are you in good health?
6. Have some kind of medical insurance.

You can’t claim benefits of any kind until you’ve been here and paid into the system for at least 3 years.

If Switzerland , who doesn’t belong to the EU, can control their borders and trade freely and profitably with Europe, so can we!!!

THE UK IS BETTER OFF OUT OF THE EU!

If the UK left:

Trade would be curtailed with the EU.

Myth- The EU would always trade with it’s biggest trading customer

Moreover, the Lisbon Treaty stipulates that the EU must make a trade agreement with a country which leaves the EU.

Britain would suffer in its relationship with the rest of the world.

Myth- Britain’s best trading relationships are NOT within the EU.

They are outside the EU- with the US and Norway, Switzerland the Commonwealth.

The largest investor in the UK is NOT an EU country, but the US!

EU membership has been a detriment to the British economy-fishing-farming- excessive red tape and restrictions on business.

If Britain left the EU, it would still have substantial power in the world.

It belongs to the G20 and the G8 and has a permanent seat on the UN Security Council. Britain lies at the heart of the 54 Commonwealth nations.

Of course Britain would have power—it’s the 4^th richest nation in the world!

One of the main advantages of leaving the EU is we would have control of our borders!

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS VITAL QUESTION?

There is NO justification to add a 250,000 population city to the UK every year!

CLOSED OR OPEN BORDERS

THE CONCLUSION:

1. Because of Globalization-the movement of people is essential in today’s world, because International business depends on an international labor force and the ability for people to move around the world.

When people move across borders, goods are produced on location- when not, production is outsourced.

2. THE MOVEMENT OF PEOPLE NEEDS TO BE BETTER MANAGED!
3. People migrate to receive an education and training, to perform services, to find employment, to flee life-threatening situations and to provide themselves hope and opportunity.—This is a good thing!
4. Much of migration today is UNREGULATED. Criminal smuggling and trafficking are increasing.
5. When governments lose control of migration Xenophobia and racism flourish. Xenophobia- a dislike of or prejudice against people from other countries.
6. Open borders could lead to a massive influx of people from the third world. This is a bad thing!
7. The ultimate goal is NOT to prevent mobility but to BETTER MANAGE it for the benefit of all.